Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
