Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
