for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
