hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
