You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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