i think my mom watched the whole time
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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