Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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