It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
