I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
