oh fat girl friday strikes again...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
