i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
