We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
