That's intense
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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