Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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