How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
