I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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