Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize