guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
