so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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