So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
