Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
