I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
