so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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