I wanna bring you to show and tell
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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