well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
