Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
