M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
