Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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