Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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