hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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