You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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