I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
