these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
