Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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