I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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