We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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