Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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