Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
