my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize