Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
