And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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