Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize