my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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