ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
