im drinking this country out of the recession.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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