You made me cry and you don't even care
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
