I heard we made out
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
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