and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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