grandma shit on top of the toilet
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
