I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
