We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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