the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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