just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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