Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
