I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
