Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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