did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
